"You've come a long way, baby..."
Well, I've officially begun the long and exciting journey of parenting. This is my first post since pre-baby days. I'm finding that motherhood is going to be the cure for my being too prolific with my writings. Due to a serious limit on time, I'm going to pare down to the meat of the story by posting the highlights from our journey, and focus on all the interesting things I've learned in the past two months. Here we go:
Summary of Things Learned
(1) Expect the unexpected. Nothing will ever go according to how you think it will- which is sometimes good, sometimes not. This point of wisdom was driven home in the labor and delivery room at the hospital. As a first time mom, I read up on what was facing me in the early days, and I learned from the books that it is wise to have a "birth plan" which is a written plan on how I want my delivery to go. A good idea, but not a practical one, as things never go as planned when it comes to having a baby. It's good to have a sketch of a plan but its important to be flexible- you can only control so much before life takes over. Originally I planned on holding off on getting the epidural, and I packed a bunch of snacks for my birth coach (hubby) so he wouldn't go hungry. I had my cousin burn a mixed cd for me to listen to, thinking that I would "power through" the delivery part of the program. Now, I don't know what kind of party I was planning on having here, that I was so focused on refreshments and the music list prior to the Big Event, but clearly I had something to learn. Looking back, I laugh at my priorities. For one thing, the epidural was administered in the earlier stages of my delivery (for the record, contrary to what most people I talked to said about the "E-guarantee", it HURT. Worse than getting a tattoo). Secondly, my hubby had zero interest in food during this momentous occasion. Strangely enough, I had no interest in food as well. I was thankful just to get the crushed ice they served up in a gigantic thermos. Third, by the time I was pushing my child out into the world, music was the very last thing on my mind. I am saving the awesome cd for my future workout sessions at home.
(2) Learn to improvise. Not an easy feat. But problem solving is crucial in all the many stages of parenting. For example- all the Huggies diapers that were given to us at baby showers had a funny (but not funny) way of leaking. Baby would go through three in a half hour, and countless outfit changes as a result. It was out of control. So I had a lightbulb moment- I took the two boxes of nursing pads (liners for the breasts, to absorb milk leakage) and cut the pads up and made a makeshift lining for the diapers. While this didn't completely solve the problem, it helped tremendously and we were able to cut back on diapers/dirty laundry considerably.
(3) The (super) power of organizing. I've always been a neat and semi-organized soul, but after becoming a mom, I've learned to step it up. Things have a way of going smoother when you have all the supplies you need on hand and have organization going on. One big example of this is diaper changes- I can't tell you how many times I've juggled a baby, a dirty diaper, baby wipes and then been doused with pee-pee, simultaneously, because I neglected to stock the diaper table with extra diapers and supplies. This morning I actually got "hosed" three times in a row because of my neglect. Lesson learned. When you have everything on hand, life is much MUCH easier! Another time that organizing helps tremendously is in preparing for breastfeeding sessions. There's nothing more obnoxious than settling in with a hungry baby on your lap, and realizing that you forgot the Baby Boppy, or the burp cloths, or things that are necessary when feeding the li'l sprout. I've found that when I have everything ready and waiting, it is a win-win situation and turns a chore into a moment.
(4) Know what works. This one is trial and error. It's not always about buying the most expensive things on the market- as in the case of the diapers. I've found that the Dollar General brand of diapers works much better than the name brand Huggies. Who knew? You find these things out the hard way. Also, you don't need to buy everything brand new- I was lucky to have family friends pass on their children's clothing, which was incredibly helpful. My friend's sister passed along her baby's bouncy seat, which I nicknamed "the babysitter" because it was like having extra help with comforting and entertaining the baby. And Mom bought the baby's crib secondhand- a beautiful natural wood Simmons, from one of the local thrift stores. All of these things were not only helpful, but they were environmentally-friendly choices to make.
(5) "If you're not in over your head, you're not really in"- self explanatory. I think this was penned by someone in the same light as "look on the bright side"- however, it works for me.
(6) Babies love routines. Routines are a life saver when it comes to baby. They are good for sleep-deprived adults too.
(7) Multi-tasking is crucial in the war for Time Management. I've learned that its super-easy to have laundry going, and the bottle sterilizer working in the microwave, while feeding the baby. Once he's finished and napping, I have knocked out three important to-dos on the never-ending list, and earned a break (and breaks at this stage in time are beyond refreshing!!!)
(8) Appearances no longer matter. Or more specifically, MY appearance no longer matters. (Baby is another story- I've turned my style focus completely on him, and he's one stylish little man!) I've always prided myself on being fashionable and fashion forward, but thanks to these in-between days of no-longer-pregnant but 15 lbs overweight, and sporting a bigger shoe size thanks to hauling that baby belly around, and the fact that my closet appears to have exploded due to my fashion identity crisis- all that matters is that I'm decently covered and comfy. Sweatpants are my best friend, in that they cover all of the above. And Mom bought me two awesome pairs of shoes- loafers for day, and fancy purple slippers to lounge in. That's as stylish as it gets these days! And I strongly feel that as long as I'm not spending the day in pj's, I'm successful as far as fashion is concerned. At this point in time, my favorite fashion accessory is the ever-popular "burp cloth". Yay! And you don't need 20 maternity bras- Wal-Mart sells a pack of two for $16.00, and you can supplement your nursing wardrobe with sports bras. *Note: I can honestly say that the thought of fashion and dressing up again is exciting- but its still on the backburner, to remain there indefinitely. When the extra weight comes off, and I'm able to juggle life better, I will be celebrating (and wearing) my style once more.
(9) Sleep deprivation is responsible for many things. It's responsible for diminished milk supply; depression; lack of energy; poor mental health; poor physical health. Case in point- I caught a basic cold around Christmas time, and it took me a month to recover what would normal take about a week to shake off. The one time I managed to grab more than 3 hours sleep in a row (New Year's Eve) is when I discovered that my milk had come in, and I was able to nurse the baby successfully for the first time in weeks. It was a lovely way to start 2013!
(10) Everyone in this world was somebody's baby at some point in time. Now, if that doesn't humble you, and make you look at your fellow man in a different light, I don't know what will.
(11) Breastfeeding is a labor of love. Before the days of breastfeeding, I imagined tranquil moments rocking in the chair with the baby and bonding together as I nourished my child the way nature intended. What a rosy picture! The reality was far more- for lack of a better word- "primitive". First off, there are the same limitations on the mom as during pregnancy days- your food affects baby so there is a long list of what you can and cannot eat (it was hard to say goodbye to spicy foods, that's for sure!). Obviously, you can't drink- although some moms get around this by timing their drinks so it doesn't interfere with the baby's feeding schedule. Then there is the fact that you require about 15 or more 8 oz glasses of water per day, for good milk production (!) Then, there is the pain involved- and I don't care how many nurses and doctors admonish that "it shouldn't hurt". It hurts. It took me about two months to toughen up (physically and mentally) to productively feed my baby, and I supplement with formula because I'm not a super-mom and don't "express" my milk (use a breast pump). By giving baby both forms of nourishment, I know he is getting everything he needs one way or the other (or both!). A confession: I've found that, when it comes to getting my baby boy to sleep longer at night, the bottle goes a much longer way than breastmilk.
(12) A colicky baby affects everyone. It is horrible to hear your child wailing and howling and observe him turning red as a beet (the dreaded "foonga face" as we call it), and know that absolutely nothing you do will "fix" it. This knowledge doesn't stop you from frantically trying everything, from rocking, bouncing and pacing the floor simultaneously, gliding in the chair, going outdoors for a change of scene, driving around, playing music (although music therapy did seem to improve things!), changing the diaper for the 10th time in an hour, feeding until the baby looks rabid from the milk foaming at his mouth, making the most embarassing faces to distract and amuse. Sometimes things work to alleviate the baby's problem, but its hit or miss most of the time. The only thing that seems to help is routine (see #6) and time.
*** Note: I think that things have taken a turn for the better, as far as Nathan's colic is concerned. We have him on the new sleep schedule, and he only wakes up twice in the night, due to feeding/diaper needs. Hurrah!!!! My little angel is currently snoozing in his bouncy seat, allowing me to catch up on this blog. Due to the gorgeous spring-time-feeling weather, I've opened up all the windows in the house, and managed during a previous nap to being doing serious Spring Cleaning around the house. I even managed to pluck my overgrown eyebrows. Ahhh, life is good!! Having a baby really makes you appreciate it all, every single little thing, and you never waste a spare moment in your schedule.
**** I'll be posting the story of Nathan's birth, complete with photos, at a later date, due to time restrictions (that bane of motherhood!)
