"Become What You Are"

Today, I am a writer. 

 

Maybe I should backtrack a bit.  I have always been a writer- in years past, I've written notebooks chock-full of poetry; songs for musician friends; blogs on a weekly/bi-monthly basis; the random notes; to-dos and grocery lists; reminders for the week, every week.  But something got lost or misplaced along the way, and I stopped writing creatively- the short stories and poetry and book ideas, and children's book scribbles, were like a river that had run dry and left nothing behind but dry land and myriad cracks and creases where bubbles and water had once rippled and thrived. 

 

But today is different.  Today is a beginning.  I made a resolution for this New Year, to get back to my creative writing.  I was afraid to begin- afraid that there was nothing left in my mind and heart to share with the rest of the world.  I was scared of the blank page.  Writer's block was my worst enemy a while back, and it reared its ugly head again when I attempted to begin another "chapter" in my writing life.  I felt I had nothing to say anymore.  And what was left behind felt vanquished by depression, self-doubt, and plain old fear of the unknown.  Now, I have begun once more to write from the heart and soul.  I gave myself a writing challenge and met it headfirst.  In my mind, I can see my writer's block as a granite structure, a Stonehenge of sorrows, standing vigilant and unyielding.  And by beginning- somewhere, anywhere- I have fractured the angry rock and left a hairline crack in its rigid sneering façade.  Writing is a part of who I am, but if I don't write, I won't be a writer anymore.  I write to escape the ugliness and pain of this world, and create a place where everything is as it should be.  Where magic and destiny unfold, and justice prevails, and where there exists all possibilities, all hope, all love.  I want to rewrite the unhappy endings.  I want to right the wrongs.

I feel very strongly that our world is at a critical point where we are in danger of losing the magic.  People are afraid of the unknown, and they are afraid of believing in something besides the concrete and factual.  It's going to take the combined imagination of writers, musicians, artists and free thinking individuals who give a damn and haven't become immune to the possibility of magic, to change things.  Our society is overrun by technology (that combined blessing and curse), and we are losing what gives us our soul.  Writing is my contribution.  I want to connect with the world, and this is the only way I know how. 

 

Now that I've started, I will continue along this self-created pathway.  I realize that this isn't the end of the road as far as anxiety or writer's block goes.  But I'm looking at it as my chapter 1.  It is going to be a daily journey, and I will do my best to begin all of the threads of story ideas that I've unwound over time.  I hope that my readers join me in this new beginning, and that I can bring something to both of us.  As always, stay tuned...