Seeking Happiness

As I look back on the recent posts of this blog, I quickly realize that my gratitude journal is becoming dimmed by a lot of sad events that have happened recently. There have been so many deaths in the music world this year, in rapid-fire succession, it has become a challenge to recover from one tragedy before we find the next staring in our faces. I posted each one on my page because I wanted to "pay my respects" online and remember the lost. Unfortunately, I am in danger of losing the original plan to share stories of joy and gratitude on here, so I am trying to refocus and get back to the good during these dark days.

 

Some say happiness is a choice. I think its definitely a lifestyle and a mindset, both which require work. Its hard to always "choose" to wear a smile and to be optimistic in the face of disappointment, sadness and the rest- but I am finding out that if I keep track of a few things a day to be grateful for- even the basics, I become aware of exactly how much good exists in my life and my world. And when you start looking for the good, you "exercise" the gratitude muscle and it becomes second nature.  Maybe optimism can be an acquired taste. Another important thing in the "pursuit of happiness" is to avoid like the plague the impulse to compare.  "Comparison is the thief of joy"- Shakespeare summed it up beautifully and perfectly.  Everyone has a measuring stick when it comes to the world around us, and its destined to make us miserable because as long as someone else has more (and someone always will!), our life is going to come up short.  As long as we are looking at the person next to us that seems to lead a charmed life, we are missing our perspective on our own identities and burying what makes us unique in a doomed quest for perfection, by someone else's standards. Besides, if the person next to us has an overwhelming amount of blessings in their life, what does it matter to them if they are fixated on all the bad? They might as well have nothing because for some, its never "enough". When you live with a grateful heart, you never have that issue to deal with.

 

I'm going to sign off this post with a few things I am grateful for today.  Hoping to return to a positive state of mind, along with my blog. 

 

Gratitude List 4/22/16:

 

(1) I am grateful that the sun is shining on this Earth Day.

(2) I am happy that the week is over and we survived the work and drama!

(3) The irises are in full bloom, and seeing them thriving really lifts my spirits.

(4) I am grateful for our kind next door neighbors that I wish I could adopt as family.

(5) I'm grateful my son is still young enough to give me giant bear hugs and kisses in public, without shame.

 

Wishing everyone a joyful weekend- let's make it shine!

 

007

A Saint's Goodbye

"A Saint's Goodbye"- by Jamie Patterson

You are New Orleans
You are not just a number on a black and gold jersey
You are the smell of magnolias blooming in spring
And the sound of a child shrieking with joy
You are the hot breeze trailing the streetcar barreling down Canal
And the pigeons warbling to one another as they hunt for bread crumbs from forgotten beignets

You are not just a skin color or race, nor a religion or faith
Because in truth we are all golden in God's eyes, we are all connected here and beyond
You are the footsteps checking on a child caught in the web of a nightmare
You are the muscular arms holding your wife with tenderness
You are the hand holding your child's hand with care, teaching that a strong man is also gentle
You are the fine mist spraying from a fountain freckled with pennies and filled with wishes

You are New Orleans and family,
And we do not put you to rest with anything less than hearts leaden with grief
We dance at a second line funeral, but our steps do not mask our tears
We ask, as always, "Why?" and "How many more?", and are answered by silence
You are going home, and leaving New Orleans
Without you we are less of a people, and the gold fades with the sunset

Starman

David Bowie passed away early in this New Year.  When I first read the news, as I was zipping through FB headings and tidbits, at first I was in complete denial (Bullshit! A unbelievable mistake!). But as I continued to read about his ongoing battle with cancer, one that he and his family kept under tight wraps until the inevitable end, it struck like a punch in the gut.  Tears overwhelmed me. I fast-tracked through all the memories of this incredible man's music, and the years that it ran through my life like the best of soundtracks.  As a child, developing a huge crush as I watched him own the Goblin King role in Labyrinth; being completely hooked on the movie soundtrack for years afterwards; listening to the classics like "Golden Years" and "Fame" that were the bedrock of my musical upbringing; getting into the Ziggy Stardust phase in my early 20, fueled by a rocker boyfriend and the group of people I was hanging with at the time.  After my breakup, with the boy and the group, I spent hours at dive bars feeding coins in the juke, and listening to my "old friends".  I even got Mom into my phase, and she loved "Ziggy" as much as I did.   It was fun to think that I was teaching Mom about music from her generation.  It definitely had the power of crossing the lines and reaching everyone.  David Bowie's music was a living entity; I found consolation and hope in its companionship.  These songs reminded me that some things do last forever.

 

In more recent years, David Bowie has been my standby, his music on so many playlists.  He became a friend, family, more than just entertainment or background noise.  When he passed on from this life, it hurt so deeply that it felt as though all the memories in my life involving his music- childhood, the 20's, today- somehow departed right along with him. I grieved then, and am grieving now, for this enormous loss, not only in the music world but for everyone who played his songs and connected through his lyrics and the memories that walked hand in hand with his music.   It seems impossible to think he is really gone- he was one of those rare souls who aged with such grace, bigger than life, his music evolving, changing and always growing.  He was more than just a rock n roll icon; he was a builder of dreams. He brought us all together.  He had the confidence and guts to remain true to his individuality, regardless of how strange that looked at times.  He put his heart and soul into his songs, and was unafraid to express himself at the highest level. He will never be replaced and will never be forgotten. 

 

 

 

"There's a Starman waiting in the sky,

He'd like to come and meet us,

but he thinks he'd blow our minds..."

 

 

 

 

2016

Another year in, and another one out.  Yes, its that time again, and unlike my usual "Year in Review" segment I'm going to just reflect on how peaceful the celebrations were this time around, and focus on moving forward.  Suffice it to say that this year was yet another roller coaster filled with drama, joy, illness, growth, disappointment, enlightenment and change.  Funny how that works. To paraphrase Joan Rivers, "I wish I could tell you it gets better but it doesn't.  You get better." Amen to that.  

 

New Year's Eve ended up being rung in very quietly and close to home. Plans fell through and my little man needed to be close to home and with his mommy while he recovered from post-op. In years past I would've felt keenly disappointed at the lack of excitement.  This year I ended up being happy to be removed from the drama, the overindulgence and loudness and cacophony (unless you count a toddler shrieking with joy, the shrill blast of fireworks and overindulging in appetizers and chocolate goodness). The celebration kicked off  at church- Munholland held its annual NYE labyrinth/meditation as a way of reflecting on hopes and dreams and putting the year to rest before symbolically walking into the new one.  It was a new experience for me and one I plan on repeating in years ahead. The rest of the evening was spent taking a drive through the park, enjoying a spread of food and helping ring in the New Year with family and neighbors. 

 

 

So now its a new year and a new beginning.  Or is it? The question that so many people struggle with is, "Why does the new year matter?" There are so many arguments and debates about whether or not it "really" makes any difference.  Well, I believe its like anything else- you can see the glass as half empty or half full.  Many of us need the symbolism of a fresh start to encourage us to make important changes and live life differently.  There has to be a starting point, a beginning. The "clean slate" is only in our heads, but you have to start somewhere.  In fact, the best change starts in your mind. If it makes folks happy to imagine a new chapter in this busy, complicated, confusing world, then let them believe in it.  I find that I believe in it and want to make things different this time around.

Wishing you many blessings in the New Year.  May 2016 be good to all of us!

Pet Fest 2015

Pet Fest 2015 at Lafrieniere Park was one for the books.  One of those rare, autumn-feeling, gorgeous days of sunshine and fat fluffy clouds and cool breezes. Beau was thrilled for the ride, even though he didn't realize the destination, and once we got there he was all wagging tail and happy stance.  We arrived at the "tail end" of the event, around 3:00, had a devil of a time finding a parking spot, and ended up walking quite a bit to get to the main event. But it was worth the exercise.  Along the way we saw dogs and their folks walking to and from the Fest, and the variety of faces was entertaining and heart warming.  We love our furry kids.  They make us happy just by being there, and in turn they are happy just to have our company and our attention and affection. Its the best win-win I've ever heard of.

 

The Fest was chock-full of vendors, animal rescue groups, food & drinks and music.  Our first stop was to visit our friends at the Louisiana Boxer Rescue, headed up by Connie Back, Beau's former obedience instructor and our good friend. One of the focal points of any pet event is the ever-popular Boxer Kissing Booth.  The main attraction- a sweet boxer- gave this blogger a very enthusiastic kiss and swiped his tongue in my mouth! A big ewww-awww moment ;)

 

 

The turnout for this event was one of the biggest I've seen in years.  A lot of people and their pets showed up, including the unexpected ones- parrots were on the list.  The birds, including the ones living at the park, were completely unafraid of the influx of people and pets. Good behavior all around!

We saw lots of old friends, including Alyson and her girls and their dogs.  It was great catching up and made the Pet Fest even more of an event.  In a too-busy life when we are all entrenched in our own little worlds made up of jobs, family life, school events, limited free time and endless to-do lists, it is great to encounter our friends in the real world and spend time together in person.  Here's a shot of Beau photo bombing the girls :)

Pet Fest 2015 was a rousing success.  Beau was treated like royalty, everyone stopped to pet him and love on him and comment on his beautiful coat and gorgeous face.  It was heartwarming to see him get so much affection from so many. And on the way out, we caught up with two ladies who had a miniature version of Beau- a teeny tiny puppy, the same age as Beau when I adopted him (2 months).  Seeing the two together was like seeing before and after.  Little Major and Beau hit it off and were fast friends. 

We are definitely looking forward to next year's event.  If you are an animal lover this is the place for you! Or if you're just looking to pass a good time, check this one out- it benefits the rescue groups and is one great way to spend a weekend!

"Next Stop, Wonderland"

Earlier today, I was reading the latest issue of Oprah magazine, and glancing at an article posing a question to contributing writers of the magazine: What would be the title of your life story, and why? The answers ranged in response from the amusingly self-explanatory ("Put on your big girl panties and get moving") to the introspective ("Time to go home").  My own answer popped into my head: "Next stop, Wonderland".  Amusing AND introspective.  These days, my life is getting "curiouser and curiouser" the farther I go along.  The house of cards is constantly on the move.  Borrowing a quote from the White Rabbit, I find myself digging into my purse for my cell phone and muttering, "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!"  During down time, I try to plan menus for myself and my family, and remain (mostly) healthy, but get tempted by the baddies- the fast fix of junk food and snacks that tempt, "Eat me" and "Drink me".  The battle between a wholesome lifestyle, and giving in to the easily available, comfort foods (and drinks).  Some days I feel as though I have shrunk into a person whose stature is as small as a toddler, staring up at the world around me and feeling overwhelmed and not in control of anything.  Other days, I feel that I have rocketed into a giant, disrupting my own trajectory, looking down and all around and towering over my environment, thinking thoughts too big for their world.  Not fitting in anywhere.   And there is the Mad Hatter- my sweet, nonstop son, leading the way to the next adventure, giggling and shrieking his way through life, teaching me to be fleet of foot and not to plan too far in advance. 

 

More lessons learned from Life in Wonderland: The importance of tea time; idle conversation yields interesting truths; there is never enough time in the day, so time management is of the utmost importance; and never stop asking questions. 

 

What is the title of your life story? Why? These are questions that make us pause to reflect on where we are, and hopefully where we are going.  

 

Wishing all of you some introspection, a little light-heartedness through your busy days, extra time to savor the moments, and good luck along the way :)  

 

 

Locks of Love

Last month ended up becoming the time for a hair makeover.  I decided to bump up my projected date to get my hair chopped to donate to charity.  Pantene has a special project called "Great Lengths" that accepts donations 8 inches and longer to help make wigs for people who are dealing with cancer and other medical situations.  Originally I planned on waiting till October to get this done in order to grow it out a little longer, but due to unforeseen circumstances ended up going to Regis Salon at the Mall to "make the break".  I walked in without an appointment, and walked out with 8 inches of hair gone, with bangs and long layers.  It ended up being a good visit because the stylist did exactly what I asked and it was done in a very short amount of time. Part of me felt overwhelmed- you don't grow hair for 3 years and not miss its absence.  The other part of me felt the humidity smack the back of my (now bare) neck and breathed a sigh of relief at the (literal) weight lifted off my head.  It was also freeing to feel that I battled my fear and allowed some change into my life.  A win-win. 

 

For anyone interested in donating your hair to benefit others less fortunate, here is the link:

 

www.locksoflove.org

 

www.wigsforkids.org

 

www.pantene.com/en-us/brandexperience/make-the-cut

 

It's a great cause and a true gift from the heart (and head).  And since its hair, it DOES grow back :)